#Fitbit is it the Shiznit?

#Fitbit -Is It The Shiznit? 

By Dirk Fender

Hello everyone. 

Dirk Fender coming to you live; er in delayed print actually -to talk about something other than Retail Hell. I'm going to talk about my new device, a Fitbit Charge Hr in a short run of articles.

Yep, I'm bored so I'm going to test this bugger out. I've gotten myself in a pickle with my weight, and need to be more active. 

So here I sit, with a Fitbit on my wrist. 

Here are some random things about my Fitbit band:

As far as the way it fits, that's fine. I don't like the band much. It's functional -but while I'm working hard at my real life retail gig, the band causes me to sweat and that irritates me.I'm also allergic to certain metal and latex, so this thing is scary close to giving me a rash. Not going to lie here, that's shitty. A cloth or leather band would have been nicer, and I mean out of the box. I don't want to buy extra stuff when the jury is still out on this Fitbit thing. Okay, most of the appeal of the Fitbit for me is the idea that I can record my activities and get real time stats about those activities. I don't give a rip about sleep stats, but this thing says I only sleep like 2.3 hours a night. No wonder I feel like I'm in a fucking comma everyday. I mean, I guess this is a cool stat, but you can't even record how many pushups you did. Instead of being able to record your repetitions while weight training or whatever, you are stuck having to time the "activity." Lame. But kinda fucking stellar too. Have you ever wondered how many calories you burn while having sex? You can track that stat. It's awesome, you can even see your heart rate... if  the clunky-assed Fitbit App actually loads. The Fitbit App glitches on my iPhone 5. My iPhone 5 usually runs apps real well, like Strava, and My Fitness Pal. Those are great apps by the way, and easy to use. The Fitbit app makes me reboot my phone often to enter in data, freezes, and won't let me sign out. I like the concept, but I hate the app. Based on the crappy performance of their app, I'd rather be flayed to death than pay them $50 for more headaches their "perfomance app" probably would bring me. 

I wreck the Fitbit's 10 k step goal daily. I have to go slightly out of the way to get the floors though. I've added a couple weak attempts at extra exercise, and I've mostly cut out soda, beer and all that stuff. I did have one Mickey's draft and a Dr. Pepper. I still fell well below that 750 daily caloric deficit Fitbit recommends so that I lose weight. I am even way below that their lowest number, but the web app and phone apps both seem to be telling me: "Eat Dirk, you can. You'll still lose that lard ass, but you can eat more. You should Dirk. Fucking eat more. Have three beers... steak Dirk -fucking steak." So i'm not playing the eat more game. They say I'm walking 7 miles a day, biking a couple times a week, and screwing my girlfriend a lot, so I am active. I say bullshit. My body is used to my daily activity. It doesn't give a toss about my Fitbit. Nope, my body is conditioned to do the work it does, I'm not going to lose weight by eating 5000 calories a day... but who knows?

So, according to the app I have walked almost 61k steps of a weekly goal of 70k steps in my first four days. Sound like a lot?  Trust me, I'm not doing much more in this first week than working my job. I'm watching my calories, and doing more exercise than the nothing I was doing when I'm off work. I'm not doing the insanity workout or anything hardcore -that's well, insane. Nope.

So I have three days off coming on Friday. I was thinking about getting my 10 k steps anyhow, to finish out with like more than 100 k for the week. I'll do a test-run on Friday to see how long it takes to enact my insane plan. I'm going to do those 10k steps -my ten floors first (one of Fitbit's challenges is to climb 10 floors daily) and then I'm going to walk it, while pushing my bike. I'll ride my bike back home when I reach the 10k goal. Then I'll tell you about my walk/ride and tell you if I weigh lighter after the first week.. 

Cool? 

Deal, 

I'll see you then,

Dirk Fender

email @ DirkFenderlive@gmail.com 

Buy Six Pack 

Six Pack: Episodes 1-6 
Explore the wild world through the eyes of a Mid-thirties retail clerk. 

Episode 1: Peter gets himself into a pickle with a cashier and shoplifter, plus a few other gals. 

Ep. 2 Damsels:the de-pickler. 

Peter's perplexing pickle is resolved with the gals, in a roundabout way. 

In Ep 3: After his triumph in EP 2, Peter has to cover a shift at guest service... stuff happens. 

EP 4: Days melt into the raunchy & bizarre as Peter's date with Starla goes awry. 

Can sex and drugs lead to a promotion? Possibly Peter's luck is changing. Or not. 

Step inside the life of a once ordinary- but now turned head-cheese, retail employee. Ep5: Peter sets new store standards as he steps into manager, while trying to avoid doing things Dickie's way. A cousin's- cousin or something helps him accomplish his dream of growing green to earn green. Operation Gang Green is born... more happens. some funny things. You should probably check it out. It's free on Kindle Unlimited. 

Ep. 6 Can Peter win out over Dickie, Halloween, harvest, and Red Sonja? Hard to tell. You better read this one to find out.